YuGiOh Character Inboxes
by celestial-fire-angel
Summary: What happens when Yami and Bakura discover the wonders of email? Seto get a lot of headaches...[Prideshipping, with a hint of Darkshipping]


**Title:** YGO Character Inboxes

**Author:** celestial-fire-angel

**Fandom:** Yu-Gi-Oh

**Pairings**: None, yet...

**Rating:** T, for language

**Summary:** What happens when Yami and Bakura discover email? Seto gets a lot of headaches...

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, I know, I should be writing "To My Enemy I've Come To Love" but this was just nagging at me to write it. It's supposed to funny so I hope I've done that. I thought it would be interesting if the "Ancient Ones" were to become more modernized. This fic will be all e-mails between Seto, Yami and Bakura so there will be hints of Prideshipping and Darkshipping, various characters may pop up once in a while.. Anyways, enough blabber, enjoy! 

**Chapter One:**

**  
**

**To: dragonmaster at kaibacorp . com**

**From: ****pharaohownsall at darkness . com**

**Subject: Finally!**

You bastard! Do you know how long it took me to find your fucking email address? Just how many people out there have "dragon" in their address? And how many different combinations are there? Goddamn, all emails I've sent since Aibou told me how to work a computer either came back as:

**Failure Notice! Message was not sent. Invalid address.**

OR

**I'm not Seto Kaiba.**

What the fuck! So finally I try this one and it better be right (and you better email me back) or else I'll send this damn interweb or whatever it's called to the shadow realm!

Yami

**To:****pharaohownsall darkness at . com**

**From: ****dragonmaster at kaibacorp . com**

**Subject: Re: Finally!**

You are an idiot. I don't know why I bothered writing back to you.

First of all, it's called the _internet_ not _interweb_ and second of all, it should've been obvious since mine is the only address with "KaibaCorp" as the provider.

Don't email me again.

**To: dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: glare**

That's it, I'm so kicking you ass tomorrow at school!

And I'll call it whatever the hell I want. I'm pharaoh! PHARAOH! RULER! KING! Do I need to spell it out for you?

And you better respond to this one, it's taken me a fucking hour to type this…goddamn keyplank…Aibou made it look easier…

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****master of evil at sennenring . com**

**Subject: (none)**

Stupid pharaoh. Haha, now I have your email address! Lucky Ryou wasn't looking when he was reading an email from his lover-boy. Man, they gab like girls…long emails filled with nothing but mushy sentences. I'm going to puke.

Anyways, I heard you found Kaiba's email. Nice job. I didn't think you had it in you. Give it to me. I want to harass him too…why should you have all the fun?

And by the way, your puzzle is still MINE!

Bakura

**To: ****master of evil at sennenring . com****  
From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com****  
Subject: Re: (none)**

This isn't funny, thief. If you annoy me anymore, I'll send you to the shadow realm faster than you can type on this computer.

**To: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com****  
From: ****dragon master at kaibacorp . com****  
Subject: Re: glare**

Be honored that I even take time to read the nonsense you send. I don't give a rat's ass about how long it took for you to find my email address.

Stop bothering me. I'll send you a virus the next time you email me.  
**  
To: ****dragon master at kaibacorp . com****  
From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com****  
Subject: Hmph.  
**  
And here I thought you cared (that's sarcasm, if you didn't get it, bastard). I went through thousands, no, millions of addresses until I found yours.

What's a virus? Is that a new product you're launching? And how the hell would you get something into the computer? There are no openings (believe me, I tried to find one so I could send something to Aibou).

**To: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com****  
From: ****master of evil at sennenring . com****  
Subject: Re: Re: (none)  
Attachment: snail for stupid.jpg  
**  
I can type plenty fast. Faster than you, stupid pharaoh. I heard you type like a tortoise….no, slower than a tortoise. Maybe like a…snail. In case you don't know what they are (which you probably don't, since you're no smarter than a baboon) I've sent an  
attachment. Who knew, Ryou was actually good for something….

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**Subject: Re: Hmph**

**Attachment: OpenThis.doc**

I'm not stupid like you so of course I got it. And for you information, in your second to last email, the proper term is _keyboard_, not _keyplank_. Get it right, idiot.

If you want to know what a virus is, open the attachment. You won't be disappointed. I thought I told you never to email me again. I mean it. Don't test me!

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****master of evil at sennenring . com**

**Subject: Snail Mail**

Where the fuck are you, stupid snail pharaoh? I emailed you hundreds of times and you just ignore me? Bastard!

Tell your stupid light to stay away from Ryou, it's sickening. I almost lost my appetite but luckily some loser had money I could use to get something from the disgusting cafeteria place. Ugh, who likes that food? It looks like puke. Tastes even worse. Give me your lunch tomorrow and I'll forgive you. You better be there or I'll hunt you down.

Bakura

**To: dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: What the hell?**

What the hell did that attachment thing do? All of sudden, I start getting these weird things that appear out of nowhere! There were hundreds of them! It took me so long to get all of them off the screen. And don't fucking tell me what to do! Need I remind that I'm _pharaoh?_ Goddamn…you have a short memory. Getting old, Kaiba? Are you becoming a senile old man?

What did you do, Kaiba? Tell me or I'll send you to the shadow realm faster than I can type! (And yes, I have been improving! Take that!)

Yami

**To: master of evil at sennenring . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: Re: Snail Mail**

Shut up, thief. I don't want to reply to all your emails. Most of them are just boring, filled with your complaints. Do you ever _not _complain?

Hell no! Get your own money, thief, and no, don't steal it. Make yourself a lunch, you have hands, don't you? Oh wait, you have no skills in cooking. laughs Serves you right. You can just starve for all I care. And just so you know, I wasn't emailing because this stupid computer broke! (And it wasn't my fault. Don't you dare think that, bastard.)

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****innocent one at hikari . com**

**Subject: …**

Yami,

How did our computer get infected with a virus? Did you open suspicious files? Luckily Jii-chan went to get it fixed. Be more careful from now on…

Take care,

Yugi

**To: innocent one at hikari . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: Re: …**

Aibou,

I don't know what a virus is so I can't answer your question. All I know is Kaiba told me to open a document and I did. Then these things came out of nowhere every 5 seconds and I couldn't do any typing. They are impeding my opportunity to improve my skills at the keyplank…wait, key…what was it? Damn it all!

How did your grandfather fix the computer?

Yami

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****innocent one at hikari . com**

**Subject: Re: Re: …**

It's called Anti-virus, Yami.

Yugi

**To: innocent one at hikari . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject?**

What the hell is a virus and what the hell is 'anti-virus'? I'm getting sick of hearing these words without knowing the meaning!

Wait, and why am I emailing you when I can just talk to you?

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****master of evil at sennenring . com**

**Subject: HAHAHAHA!**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Virus. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You are a baboon!

Bakura

**To: master of evil at sennenring . com**

**From: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: Re: HAHAHAHA!**

Asshole, watch out tomorrow! You have a one-way ticket to the Shadow Realm! glare

**To: dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

Subject: How? Tell me! 

How the fuck do you send this virus thing? Tell me! I command you!

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**Subject: smirk**

Why the hell would I tell you? Even if I did, you're too stupid to do so. Only one of my superior intellect would be able to pull it off.

And how the hell did Bakura get my e-mail address? It was you, I know it was! Fuck you.

**To: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**From: ****master of evil at sennenring . com**

**Subject: Fucker…**

Damn, pharaoh. My jaw still hurts. Guess I shouldn't have said you hit like a girl…but I'm NOT sorry. You do hit like a girl. And what was that about a one-way ticket to the Shadow Realm? I knew you were too soft and weak.

Okay, so now, you're slow like a snail, stupid like a baboon, and now weak like…a fish! Hehehehehehe. A fish…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**To: master of evil at sennenring . com**

**From: ****pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

Subject: Re: Fucker 

You'll regret that, thief…mark my words.

If my Aibou hadn't stopped me, you would be in the Shadow Realm right now.

**To: dragon master at kaibacorp . com**

**From: pharaoh owns all at darkness . com**

**Subject: Re: smirk**

Don't insult me! You want a trip to the Shadow Realm too, don't you…fucker!

Yeah, I told him. There is no way in hell he's bothering only me. You deserve the torture too!

Enjoy! smirk

Oh, by the way, if you said you weren't answering anymore of my e-mails, how come you're still responding?

**Author's Note: **I hope it was fun to read and hopefully I did an alright job capturing their characters. Should I continue it? Should I stop? Please let me know! Read and Review!


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